A Battle Against Bullies
Amanda Ehler
A Little Good News Today
The little boy with cerebral palsy limped into kindergarten that first day and looked around. To the other children, the first day of school was the start of a great adventure,
but to Robert, it was the beginning of eleven and a half
years of terror, pain and fear.
Robert was going to be bullied for nearly his entire schooling. Oh, it was harmless at first. A bit of poking fun, some mild name calling, but then it progressed to pushing, shoving, mocking, spreading horrible rumours, then something even worse. The bullies began to harass him online, even to the point of issuing death threats, finally leading the authorities to make criminal arrests.
Only a person who has been regularly bullied can fully appreciate what Robert went through. The fear never goes away, there are daydreams that range from forgiving all the way to desperate angry revenge on those who constantly pick on you. The way you would do anything to stop the teasing, the hurtful comments, and the humiliation when those around you can’t or won’t do anything to help you. And at the same time, the victim fears the retaliation that often follows when a bully is punished.
But for Robert, it’s history now. He’s had as much as he’s willing to take. And he’s going to try his best to make sure no one has to go through what he experienced every day. Bullying doesn’t make you stronger. But it does impel you to want to stop it from hurting another innocent child.
“I went to our local media and told them what was happening to me,” Robert reported in an incredibly courageous move. “That afternoon, I had a phone call from CTV news out of Halifax, who had decided to do a story on what I was going through and what kind of things we could implement across the country.”
That evening, Robert was told his story would be airing nationally. It was much bigger than he’d thought.
“From there, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation wanted a story, too, and so did Global Television.”
Soon, he’ll be speaking at a conference on street gangs. He’s already talked at various national conferences, speaking as not only a bullied child, but also as a young adult with a desire to help. He has a vision of how to help, too, and the savvy to reach the young victims that comes from being one yourself.
So, what would come of all of this? What did he do? What would be the result of that savvy desire?
Savvy ingenuity, of course. Robert and others with similar stories pooled their talents and created a website. Originally named bullyingkidsspeakup.ca, it quickly became www.bullyingcanada.ca. With a shorter domain name, it’s easier to remember. And it forces the recognition that bullying is a national problem. The website is clean, attractive and friendly, and a welcome change for victims. Even thoughtful poems and links to other caring sites.
“It’s made us quite busy,” Robert said. “Some days, I can personally do up to 15 interviews, and have to let the other volunteers handle the rest. It’s a lot of work for us all. Many hours.”
Other volunteers? Robert already understands the importance of connecting with victims, so the other volunteers have stories much the same as his and are willing to share them with young people. A lifetime of being picked on, terrorized, abused by their peers. And these victims, from Alberta to Newfoundland, have created and now maintain the website, and this unique, one of a kind youth-oriented website focuses on those who really matter most. The kids.
“We’re hoping to get at least one person from British Columbia and one from the territories to help the website have a more local effect.”
Though volunteers help, Robert is still busy. “Basically, my weekends are devoted to replying to young people who email me from all over the country.”
The site is frequented also by teachers, parents and police officers, too. The weekly newsletter, a publication that has taken off with numbers that far exceeded Robert’s expectations.
In fact, a lot of what has happened has done that. People are sharing tips and pointers, for not only the victim, but the bully and bystanders, too. Robert is overwhelmed by the support.
And now he’ working on a newer version of the website. This one with a chat room, complete with a volunteer helping to ensure no cyber bullying occurs, leaving people free to discuss the problem when they need to the most. “We’re not trained counselors, but we have resources and contacts that can help.”
But still, his personal advice remains the same as it did when he’d finally had enough that day in high school. “Tell someone you trust,” he advises. “Speak up, get assistance. More than the bully needs assistance. We all do.”
Robert did that, and has helped not only himself, as was part of his plan, he’s also helped hundreds of other kids in the same painful, frightening situation. And all this while finishing up his senior year of high school.
Before they endure their own eleven and half years of pain.
